Getting over my fear…of public speaking

It seems like every few years I get frustrated with myself. I get unmotivated, doubt myself, question every decision I make, or can’t get excited about anything. It used to such a difficult time to go through because I just didn’t know how to snap out of it.

As I got older, I realize that feeling is a sign of me going through a change. It may be external from my environment or people around me changing. Or internal, maybe I’ve just learned or experienced something new. What was once exciting may seem boring, and even people you once thought you liked are getting to you now.

Most of the time change is necessary. It is how we grow and become the person we want to be, or meant to be. Remember the last time you hated doing something…for me, it was public speaking. When I was in Taiwan, I had very little problem speaking in public. I enjoyed telling stories in front of my class, acting in school plays. Then when I moved to the United States, learning a new language made me very self conscious about making mistakes. I didn’t want to be called on, I dreaded going to speech class. Eventually it affected even my social skills at parties. I was so insecure and shy that I’ve let a lot of good opportunies slip by, times when I know I have a good idea or something interesting to add to the conversation but didn’t.

I struggled with this for many years, even now I still get sweaty palms and dry mouth just from the anticipation. The turning point came when I started to push myself to pretend I was a very socially comfortable person. I would make myself join in a conversation, learning to ask open ended questions and read other’s reactions when I’m talking. Slowly over time, I was able to change how I reacted to those scary situations.

Now, I never said I was cured. I still feel the butterflies, palms still get sweaty. I now just remind myself the last time I kicked myself for not speaking up, and find that “not-so-shy” girl again within me. Take a deep breath, gather my thoughts, and off I go being social and confident in the crowd. Maybe the fear will never go away, but at least I know I haven’t missed out on anything because I chose to.

Think Emerald!

I’ve always been a fan of recycling. When I was younger, I saved all kinds of scrap paper and fabric to re-use them in making arts and crafts. In college, I took the soda cans and bottles to the local recycling facility and used the money towards my groceries. I still do those things, but now that I’m expecting a little one, I’m making more changes in my home to make it baby and environmental friendly.

Recently I discovered the Seventh Generation brand of cleaning products. With a wide range of selections, these products are all free of added dyes or frangrances, non-toxic, hypo-allergenic, and biodegradable. Their vegetable based cleaners are made from a renewable resources and are phosphates-free, which is safer for our oceans. Most of the products are concentrated formula so you don’t have to use as much…which means less trash!

I have been using the products for a few weeks now and my favorite part is not having to hold my breath when cleaning up. And having the peace of mind that I’m not leaving harsh toxic chemicals on my kitchen counter tiles. Also, knowing that each time I use the product, I’m doing a small part in protecting our planet.

You can find Seventh Generation products at Target and Wholefoods. For more information, visit Seventh Generation

A little love for High School Musical

If you open any teen magazine now, you’ll for sure find Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Lucas Grabeel, or Corbin Bleu, covering those glossy pages. This past weekend I was lucky enough to be apart of a photoshoot for the movie poster of their upcoming movie High School Musical 3: Senior Year.

Because of their busy schedule, we had to work on a Sunday starting at 7:30 am. Everyone showed up with a big smile, positive attitude, and enough energy to smile and change outfits for hours. Our photographer Andrew Eccles (who also shot for Step Up, the upcoming Step Up 2, and Freaky Friday…all of which I designed the movie posters for) had hired a dj for the shoot, which made everyone feel a lot more pumped up.

Didn’t want to miss the opportunity to spread the love, I brought along Reflection-Tees for each of the talent. They were all very happy to receive a little gift at the end of a long day. I even got a hug from Vanessa after she held up the tees to the mirror and said “Oh..that’s so cute!” So fingers crossed that they’ll get photographed in them one of these days! But just knowing they now have t-shirts that I’ve designed is still pretty cool. : )

Rediscover Yourself

For the last few years I really thought I got myself all figured out. I have a great job doing what I love, a happy marriage that’s full of love and support, and have all the energy in the world to come up with new ideas and goals for myself. I felt more confident than ever about who I am, and the last thing I wanted was for anything to change.

Not that change was bad, but I like change on my terms, when I’m ready. That’s really just wishful thinking from a control freak, because no matter how prepared you are, you can’t plan your life exactly how you imagine it to be. You can come close, but the universe around you is full of surprises. And truthfully, that’s a good thing. That is how you learn and grow, from those unexpected events that forces you to push yourself a little more.

And the biggest push I got recently was finding out that my world will never be the same again…My husband of 5 years and I found out we’re expecting a baby!

As I mentioned, I’m a control freak, a planner. And the news of the baby was both exciting and terrifying. My business woman, do-it-all identity now seemed much less significant. I’m now a mom. My job is to make a little human being…one that will surprise me everyday for the rest of my life.

Honestly, I was not ready for this change, who is really. I guess with so much going on, I was still hanging on to my youth, taking advantage of my high energy level. I didn’t have any close friends with babies, I had no idea how being pregnant changes the body. I found out soon enough that eating and sleeping became my top priority. I couldn’t help it. The body took over and I had to give in and fuel it with healthy food, and rest when a couch or bed was near by. Business woman? me? no…I don’t have time for that! I have to plan my next meal, I’ve got a baby to feed!

People say a baby changes your life. I didn’t believe them, thinking I can do it all. I know I still can when my energy is back, but honestly…I am enjoying my new job. I look forward to having a big bowl of blueberries and yogurt with walnut sprinkles (all good food for mommy and baby) I enjoy relaxing and doing my prenatal yoga, knowing each breath I take I’m bringing oxygen for the baby. I’m coming up with new ideas on how to teach my child to eat healthy, a potentially marketable idea. I’m learning to slow down and not try to do everything myself. I have found more balance in my life that I’ve never had before.

I’m sure I’ll be discovering more things about myself in the coming months, and continue to as the baby grow up. I will always have that business side of me that will want to design a new baby line. I’ll always plan and make lists of a million things I want or need to do. But now I know sometimes the best thing in life aren’t planned. They just happen, and it is a miracle when they do.

I hope when you least expected, you’ll have a chance to rediscover yourself too. A new relationship, a different career path, moving to a new place to start a life, whatever it may be, enjoy the ride to becoming who you really are.